brainier or ravaged.

For second-wave feminists, Angela Chase from My So-Called Life, and me, the personal is political. And right now, the political is telling me that my personal is a normal, average, burnt-out, broke, neurotic teenage girl.

I’m not in the mood to over-intellectualize and romanticize everything anymore, so I’m just writing myself a helpful step-by-step guide on how to be an adolescent before I hit…

View On WordPress

A guy we met at the beach asked me if I’m going to write about this place. I said “I hope so,” so here I am. A week late.

I’ve gotten so used to writing about things I’m completely dispassionate about that I don’t even know how to start something that 1) won’t make me rich, 2) won’t make other people rich, or 3) lets others know how far I am from being rich. Didn’t even get the chance to turn…

View On WordPress

Nothing creative, just trauma

View On WordPress

Oct/Nov thoughts: Like Maggie Nelson’s “Bluets” but less good

Being beholden to capitalist overlords means accepting the fact that I need to write stuff to get the attention of the machines. More specifically, the ubiquitous Search Engine. At this point, I just miss writing about my feelings and other dumb things. So instead of having original thoughts, I’m gonna imitate Maggie Nelson and do a Bluets but like, not as good.

I find myself longing to…

View On WordPress

Beach House and the music of feeling nothing

It’s a late Sunday night (Monday, by the time this will be published), and I’m still bothered by the fact that barely anything makes me feel truly alive anymore.

Though not a lot, there were things that made me feel alive. Reading. Walking at night alone. Wrecking every pair of earphones I buy within a 3-6 month period after playing the same 5 songs over and over again.

Now, the books just…

View On WordPress

Aka, another exercise in writing something other than word salads centered around catching the search engine’s attention.

It is I, your unfriendly neighborhood freak masquerading as an un-freak. I am also a recovering gatekeeper.

I am not a very talented person, I just thought that I was mostly thanks to my generation’s upbringing of telling us that ~we can do anything~ despite the glaring fact…

View On WordPress

Taylor Swift and the anxieties of aging (semi-review)

Yes, I am writing about Taylor Swift again. And no, I don’t intend for this writing to be any good because I am dizzy as hell from period-related blood loss and I am still anxious over not yet receiving my pay from my incompetent (soon-to-be former) bosses.

There’s no question that Taylor Swift has matured in the eyes of the public. Her most recent release, Red (Taylor’s Version), is being…

View On WordPress

The dizzying cynicism of the ad life

Yes, I am also writing this during office hours.

To state the obvious, nothing in our lives is normal anymore. And like most people, I too left behind the work I’m used to and jumped at the chance to do something slightly more tolerable in this age of anxiety and panic: selling things.

Or rather, stringing words to sell things. To be honest, I don’t remember what it’s like to be a writer…

View On WordPress

Andy favorite books (so far) and why I like them (and you probably should too)

I’m at work and tired of writing for my two jobs so I decided to finally make this non-definitive list. Will constantly update.

Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger – If you read this during Tumblr era, you are now 3edgy5u and like Daria. Holden Caulfield “got” me in a way that real life people were not able to at that time.Franny and Zooey by J.D. Salinger (again) – Yes, I am a Salinger stan.…

View On WordPress

The silence of survival

The dictionaries call it languishing. I call it my default state, my unavoidable nature that refuses to be cured.

Years of being forced to speak when I know I won’t be understood anyway led me to just stop talking. It’s what I have to do when there’s nothing else I could do. It’s what I have to do, because the systems that rule over us don’t like it when we take some time to cry. Because it pays…

View On WordPress